Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
