He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
