I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
