Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
