Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
