The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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