I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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