have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
