you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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