does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
