Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
