flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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