tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
