so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
