She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.