we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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