dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
