you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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