i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
