well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
