He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
