I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
