Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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