Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
