haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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