His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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