This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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