I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
