i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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