Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
