Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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