cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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