I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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