What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
