Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just want to make out with him forever
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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