areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
