I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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