he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think i got beer on your cat.
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