at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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