I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
