tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
