I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
