in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize