My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
