Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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