Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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