it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize