i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
