Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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