every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize
