I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
did i just pee glitter
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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