i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
