lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
