i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
