I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
