Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
