Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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