you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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