I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
