Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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