yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
