I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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