i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
